urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chewmonger (and an occasional rant or fangirl squeal) Lindsey 2006-06-06T20:21:56Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chewmonger:13486 2006-06-06T20:21:56Z 2006-06-06T20:21:56Z My internet thingy won't let me on my journal. Ironically, it lets me on other people's journals, including my old one/new one under <span class='ljuser ljuser-name_stelladelik' lj:user='stelladelik' style='white-space: nowrap;'><a href='http://stelladelik.livejournal.com/profile'><img src='http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif' alt='[info]' width='17' height='17' style='vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;' /></a><a href='http://stelladelik.livejournal.com/'><b>stelladelik</b></a></span>. So, if you want to know the going-ons in my life, add that one, too, if you haven't already. :P urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chewmonger:13219 2006-06-06T15:42:37Z 2006-06-06T15:42:37Z Happy hellday everyone! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chewmonger:12818 2006-06-03T02:34:46Z 2006-06-03T02:34:46Z I love random story generators.<br /><br /><a name="cutid1"></a><br /><br /> It all started when our hyphen-happy protagonist, Trevor Marshall, woke up in a secret vineyard. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling abnormally pleased, Trevor Marshall stroked a dangerous oil-soaked rag, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Absolutely thrilled, he realized that his beloved Bag of Marshmallows was missing! Immediately he called his parole officer, Kurt. Trevor Marshall had known Kurt for (plus or minus) 1.2 billion years, the majority of which were flamboyant ones. Kurt was unique. He was congenial though sometimes a little... insensitive. Trevor Marshall called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.<br /><br /> Kurt picked up to a very unhappy Trevor Marshall. Kurt calmly assured him that most spotted wolf hamsters belch before mating, yet spotted wolf hamsters usually charismatically grimace *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Trevor Marshall. Why was Kurt trying to distract Trevor Marshall? Because he had snuck out from Trevor Marshall's with the Bag of Marshmallows only four days prior. It was a saucy little Bag of Marshmallows... how could he resist?<br /><br /> It didn't take long before Trevor Marshall got back to the subject at hand: his Bag of Marshmallows. Kurt yawned. Relunctantly, Kurt invited him over, assuring him they'd find the Bag of Marshmallows. Trevor Marshall grabbed his giraffe and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Kurt realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the Bag of Marshmallows and he had to do it fearlessly. He figured that if Trevor Marshall took the rice rocket, he had take at least five minutes before Trevor Marshall would get there. But if he took the banana boat? Then Kurt would be ridiculously screwed.<br /><br /> Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Kurt was interrupted by six oafish Sidviciouss that were lured by his Bag of Marshmallows. Kurt sighed; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling frustrated, he skillfully reached for his gerbil and aimlessly poked every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the haunted thicket, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the banana boat rolling up. It was Trevor Marshall.<br /><br />----o0o---- <br /><br /> As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Big Lots to pick up a 12-pack of bananas, so he knew he was running late. With a quick leap, Trevor Marshall was out of the banana boat and went scandalously jaunting toward Kurt's front door. Meanwhile inside, Kurt was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the Bag of Marshmallows into a box of ripened avocados and then slid the box behind his whale. Kurt was puzzled but at least the Bag of Marshmallows was concealed. The doorbell rang.<br /><br /> 'Come in,' Kurt explosively purred. With a heroic push, Trevor Marshall opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some funny-smelling self-righteous ass in a deliciously practical 4-door,' he lied. 'It's fine,' Kurt assured him. Trevor Marshall took a seat ridiculously unclose to where Kurt had hidden the Bag of Marshmallows. Kurt yawned trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Trevor Marshall was distracted. Ever so extemperaneously, Kurt noticed a dimwitted look on Trevor Marshall's face. Trevor Marshall slowly opened his mouth to speak.<br /><br /> '...What's that smell?'<br /><br /> Kurt felt a stabbing pain in his scalp when Trevor Marshall asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the Bag of Marshmallows right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A annoying look started to form on Trevor Marshall's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's ripened avocados from when she used to have pet venomous koalas. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Trevor Marshall nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Kurt could react, Trevor Marshall aptly lunged toward the box and opened it. The Bag of Marshmallows was plainly in view.<br /><br /> Trevor Marshall stared at Kurt for what what must've been seven hours. Happy as a frickin' monkey, Kurt groped wildly in Trevor Marshall's direction, clearly desperate. Trevor Marshall grabbed the Bag of Marshmallows and bolted for the door. It was locked. Kurt let out a sassy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Trevor Marshall,' he rebuked. Kurt always had been a little dimwitted, so Trevor Marshall knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Kurt did something crazy, like... start chucking gerbils at him or something. Like a drunken sailor at happy hour, he gripped his Bag of Marshmallows tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.<br /><br /> Kurt looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Trevor Marshall. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame two days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Trevor Marshall. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Kurt walked over to the window and looked down. Trevor Marshall was gone.<br /><br />----o0o---- <br /><br /> Just yonder, Trevor Marshall was struggling to make his way through the haunted thicket behind Kurt's place. Trevor Marshall had severely hurt his love handle during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral Sidviciouss suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the Bag of Marshmallows. One by one they latched on to Trevor Marshall. Already weakened from his injury, Trevor Marshall yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of Sidviciouss running off with his Bag of Marshmallows.<br /><br /> About four hours later, Trevor Marshall awoke, his double chin throbbing. It was dark and Trevor Marshall did not know where he was. Deep in the uninhabited swamp, Trevor Marshall was really lost. Before anyone could take off their pants, he remembered that his Bag of Marshmallows was taken by the Sidviciouss. But at that point, he was just thankful for his life. That's when, to his horror, a bloated Sidvicious emerged from the bush. It was the alpha Sidvicious. Trevor Marshall opened his mouth to scream but was cut short when the Sidvicious sunk its teeth into Trevor Marshall's scalp. With a faint groan, the life escaped from Trevor Marshall's lungs, but not before he realized that he was a failure.<br /><br /> Less than six miles away, Kurt was entombed by anguish over the loss of the Bag of Marshmallows. 'MY PRECIOUS!!' he cried, as he reached for a sharpened banana. With a apt thrust, he buried it deeply into his shin. As the room began to fade to black, he thought about Trevor Marshall... wishing he had found the courage to tell him that he loved him. But he would die alone that day. All that remained was the Bag of Marshmallows that had turned them against each other, ultimately causing their demise. And as the dew on melancholy sappling branches began to reflect the dawn's reddish glare, all that could be heard was the chilling cry of distant Sidviciouss, desecrating all things sacred to virtuous men, and perpetuating an evil that would reign for centuries to come. Our heroes would've lived unhappily ever after, but they were too busy being dead. So, no one lived forever after, the end. :'(<br /><br />LOLz!!1<br /><br /><br />*** L337 Story Generator v1.0<br />*** Written by Derek Clark. Copyright © www.the-elite.net ~ 2004-2005<br />*** Forever pwning with earnest.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.the-elite.net/---/story/">http://www.the-elite.net/---/story/</a> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chewmonger:12771 2006-06-02T23:19:56Z 2006-06-02T23:19:56Z So friggin funny... <a href="http://www.thesmokinggun.com/vicious/sidletter.html">Sid V. needs diana ross?</a><br /><br />It's sad to be in love with a murderer. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chewmonger:12482 2006-06-02T20:34:00Z 2006-06-02T20:34:00Z "sexy sadie" -- the beatles Survey stolen from... someone who I will not name. <br /><br /><a name="cutid1"></a><br /><br />1. Taken a picture naked?<br />No<br />2. Painted your room?<br />Yes<br />3. Made out with a member of the same sex?<br />No<br />4. Drove a car?<br />Yes.<br />5. Danced in front of your mirror?<br />No<br />6. Have a crush?<br />Yes<br />9. Gotten in the car with people you didn’t know?<br />No<br />10. Been in a fist fight!<br />Yes<br />11. Snuck out of your house?<br />Yes<br />12. Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back?<br />Yes.<br />13. Been arrested?<br />Yes<br />14. Made out with a stranger?<br />No<br />15. Met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere?<br />yes<br />16. Left your house with out telling your parents?<br />Yes...<br />17. Had a crush on your neighbor?<br />YES.<br />18. Ditched school to do something more fun?<br />Yes<br />19. Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex?<br />Yes.<br />20. Seen someone die?<br />No<br />22. Kissed a picture?<br />Yes<br />23. Slept in until 3?<br />Yes<br />24. Miss someone right now?<br />Yes<br />25. Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?<br />Yes<br />26. Made a snow angel?<br />Yes<br />27. Played dress up?<br />Yes<br />28. Cheated while playing a game?<br />Yes<br />29. Been lonely?<br />Yes<br />30. Fallen asleep at work/school?<br />Yes<br />31. Been to a club?<br />No<br />32. Felt an earthquake?<br />Yes<br />33. Touched a snake?<br />Yes<br />34. Ran a red light?<br />No<br />35. Been suspended from school?<br />Yes.<br />36. Had detention?<br />Yes.<br />37. Been in a car accident?<br />No<br />38. Hated the way you look?<br />Yes.<br />39. Witnessed a crime?<br />Yes<br />39. Been the person doing the crime?<br />No<br />40. Pole danced?<br />No<br />41. Been lost?<br />Yes.<br />42. Made up a question for number 42?<br />Yes<br />43. Felt so sick you thought you might die?<br />Yes<br />44. Cried yourself to sleep?<br />Yes.<br />46. Sang karaoke?<br />Yes.<br />47. Done something you told yourself you wouldn't?<br />Yes.<br />48. Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?<br />No<br />49. Caught a snowflake on your tongue?<br />No<br />50. Kissed in the rain?<br />No<br />51. Sang in the shower?<br />Yes.<br />52. Made-out in a park?<br />No<br />53. Had a dream where you were married?<br />Yes<br />54. Glued your hand to something?<br />No<br />55. Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole?<br />No...<br />56. Ever gone to school partially naked?<br />No<br />57. Been a cheerleader?<br />No<br />58. Sat on a roof top?<br />No.<br />59. Didn't take a shower for a week?<br />Yes...<br />60. Ever too scared to watch scary movies alone?<br />Yes<br />61. Played chicken?<br />Yes<br />62. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?<br />Yes<br />64. Broken a bone?<br />No<br />65. Been easily amused?<br />Yes.<br />66. Laughed so hard you cried?<br />Yes<br />67. Mooned/flashed someone?<br />No<br />68. Cheated on a test?<br />Yes<br />69: Forgotten someone’s name?<br />Yes.<br />70. Slept naked?<br />Yes.<br />71. Gone skinny dipping in a pool?<br />No<br />73. Puked from drinking?<br />No....<br />74. Played a prank on someone?<br />Yes<br />75. Gone to a late night movie?<br />Yes<br />76. Made love to anything not human?<br />...no.<br />77. Failed a class?<br />Yes<br />78. Choked on something you're not supposed to eat?<br />Yes<br />79. Played an instrument for more than 10 hours?<br />No<br />80. Been cheated on?<br />Yes<br />81. Did you celebrate the 4th of July?<br />Yes<br />82. Thrown strange objects?<br />YES!<br />83. Felt like killing someone?<br />No<br />84. Felt like running away?<br />Yes.<br />85. Ran away?<br />Yes<br />86. Did drugs?<br />Yes<br />87. Had detention and not attend it?<br />Yes.<br />89. Made a parent cry?<br />Yes<br />90. Cried about someone?<br />Yes.<br />91. Had sex with more than one person in one day?<br />No.<br />92. Dated someone you didn't even like?<br />Yes.<br />93. Had/have a dog?<br />Yes<br />95. Own an instrument?<br />Yes<br />96. Been in band?<br />Yes<br />97. Drank 25 sodas in a day?<br /><s>probably</s> Yes<br />98. Broken a CD?<br />No<br />99. Shot a gun<br />No.<br />100. Had feelings for one of your best/good friends?<br />Yes...<br /><br /><br />On another note, I can't get on my journal. I can only update it. Damn. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chewmonger:12071 2006-06-02T15:39:59Z 2006-06-02T17:24:57Z "good day sunshine" - the beatles Good fuznucking MORNING!<br /><br />Obviously, my computer doesn't let me cuss. If I do, it comes out like this: .... &lt;-- so I'll just say... FUZNUCK! SHIZNIT! ARSE! Woo!<br /><br />I have a strange new obsession with iPod solitaire. I spend more time playing that than I do listening to music. ^^;<br /><br />On another note, wish happy birthday thoughts to my cousin Jenna and my friend Manson! Yay! 17 and... uh, one year older. ^^ urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chewmonger:11782 2006-06-01T20:55:04Z 2006-06-01T21:15:31Z "Wrong Way" - Sublime I declare an official RE-CREATION of the odd squad, dangit!<br /><br />I'm out of contact with everyone! *rips out flamethrower... er, lighter* Where the heck is everyone?<br /><br /><b>LATER-</b> See? Go check out the community T9S. Now. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chewmonger:11608 2006-06-01T19:13:01Z 2006-06-01T19:13:01Z no lindsay -- hipster blitz I'm alive again. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chewmonger:10186 2006-04-30T21:14:22Z 2006-04-30T21:14:22Z Hi all. :3 *sneaksneak*<br /><br />I LUFF YOU DEE!<br /><br />P.S. -- Ian is <i>so</i> last month. Now it's Mike. :3 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chewmonger:9552 2005-12-22T19:23:36Z 2005-12-22T19:23:36Z <table width="500" style="border:1px solid black; background-color:white; color:black;"><tr><td><img src="http://triggur.org/dearsanta/santa.gif"><font size="6">Dear Santa...</font><br><br><b>Dear Santa,</b><br><br>This year I've been busy!<br><br>In November I farted in an elevator <font size="-3" color="gray">(-6 points)</font>. Last Saturday I pushed <span class='ljuser ljuser-name_beatle_mod' lj:user='beatle_mod' style='white-space: nowrap;'><a href='http://beatle-mod.livejournal.com/profile'><img src='http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif' alt='[info]' width='17' height='17' style='vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;' /></a><a href='http://beatle-mod.livejournal.com/'><b>beatle_mod</b></a></span> in the mud <font size="-3" color="gray">(-17 points)</font>. In April I set <span class='ljuser ljuser-name_rigrigrigatoni' lj:user='rigrigrigatoni' style='white-space: nowrap;'><a href='http://rigrigrigatoni.livejournal.com/profile'><img src='http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif' alt='[info]' width='17' height='17' style='vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;' /></a><a href='http://rigrigrigatoni.livejournal.com/'><b>rigrigrigatoni</b></a></span>'s puppy on fire <font size="-3" color="gray">(-66 points)</font>. In February I put gum in <span class='ljuser ljuser-name_errlugcog' lj:user='errlugcog' style='white-space: nowrap;'><a href='http://errlugcog.livejournal.com/profile'><img src='http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif' alt='[info]' width='17' height='17' style='vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;' /></a><a href='http://errlugcog.livejournal.com/'><b>errlugcog</b></a></span>'s hair <font size="-3" color="gray">(-12 points)</font>. Last Wednesday I ate my brussel sprouts <font size="-3" color="gray">(1 points)</font>. <br><br>Overall, I've been <b>naughty</b> <font size="-3" color="gray">(-100 points)</font>. For Christmas I deserve <b>a lump of coal</b>!<br><br><blockquote>Sincerely,<br>chewmonger</blockquote></td></tr></table><br><form action="http://triggur.org/dearsanta/">Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:<input type="text" name="uname" size="20"><input type="submit" value="Write Santa!"></form><br /><br />I love you. The world is evil, and so am I.<br /><br />Merry Humbug. =3<br /><br />P.S. OUTSIDERS - JOHNNY CADE IS DELICIOUS :P urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chewmonger:2431 2005-01-23T22:52:25Z 2005-01-23T22:52:25Z Okay, folks, I've made this a <i>friends-only</i> journal. Why? Because I said so. :3 If you want to be able to see my psychotic, Ringo-glomping, Paul-stalking, Edo-bumping, Sock-stealing, Marc-p9inting entries and are not on my friends list, then comment here.<br /><br />Joy.